Following Through 'Til The End

Sunday 25^th November

Hey guys,

I can’t even believe that it is now week 7 and that we only have 5 days left! I remember how horrible I felt at the beginning of this trip and thinking I would never get through it, but God has got me through to the end, just like He asked me too in the bible. As 1 Peter 4:10 says “those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good”.

It’s been an up and down couple of weeks, we enjoyed spending our birthdays at the orphanage and throwing a party for the children, they were so excited! We have struggled with feeling down at times though, and we’re hating on the food! But 2 Thessalonians 3:13 says “never tire of doing what is good”, so I need to make sure I don’t lose my enthusiasm for helping the children.

We’re starting to prepare to leave now and I’m finding it harder than expected. I’ve grown to love those children so much and I hate the idea of them once again being left in their cots day after day. But I should trust that God is looking out for them and pray that they will come to know Him and love Jesus. We’ve written them all letters to read when they’re older in which we’ve given them each a bible quote, I hope this will help them see how much God loves them.

Eloise has decided to leave her cross necklace inside the letter of the girl she has grown most attached to, and I decided to follow suit with the child I’m most attached to, Ramya. Those that know me well may have noticed that I always have this necklace on, I don’t like not wearing it. Eloise made me see that we shouldn’t have attachments to these earthly objects, we should only focus on God – Colossians 3:2 “set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”. So I want to give away something I have loved to a child I now love, it will be a nice keep sake when she is older.

So although this week will be emotional, I’m really looking forward to it. I want to give the children every last bit of energy I have and finish what I started – “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it” (2cor 8:11). 

Thank you so much for your continued support,

Lots of love,

Charlotte xxx

Promises

Wednesday 31^st October

This week has been a strange mix of emotions and I have found it quite difficult. It’s kind of like limbo at the moment, we’ve been here ages but still have a long time to go which has left me feeling a bit down and frustrated. Despite feeling quite depressed and home sick this week, I don’t particularly want to return early, I just want the next 4 and a half weeks to go really quickly. I know that if I came home now then I’d be haunted by the memories of those children, how I’d left them when I could have stayed longer. And at least I have a home to go to; some of them may never leave care in their lives so will never have the traditional experience of a “childhood home”.

In other ways this week has been fantastic, God has given me memories I will never forget. We’ve finally started teaching the two older children who are left out of the school and, amazingly, they’re learning from us! We bought a magnetic alphabet and number board which we have used to teach them A-H and 1-5 – needless to say, the bag of haribo sweets as a reward definitely sped up the learning process! As silly as it sounds, I cannot even describe how proud of those children I feel when they point and say “aunty look, two lions” or “A aunty, that’s A!” I can now understand why parents brag about their children so much.

Today, when a child blew a kiss at me, I realised for the first time just how much I now love and am attached to these children, at that moment it hit me that some of these children have taken a place in my heart now and I will never be able to fully let them go. What’s so poignant is that the child that blew me the kiss is Ramea, the girl I severely disliked when I started (and have previously, very wrongly, referred to as “evil”). It is so amazing how God can change how our hearts feel in this beautiful way.

So although I still feel a bit down at times, I know that I’ll be fine because God tells me so numerous times in the bible, and God never lies. Psalm 120 tells me “I call on the Lord in my distress and He answers me”, Luke 12:25 says “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” and Paul’s letter to the Corinthians tells me “He will also keep you firm to the end” (1Cor:8) – so why should I stress over how quickly the next month goes? It won’t make any difference, I just need to embrace God, thank Him for how He has blessed me and believe in His word – as Chisem so well put it, I need to live the gospel.

Lots of love,

Charlotte xxxx

It's a great thing to praise the Lord

Tuesday 23^rd October

Namaste! So it’s day 18 here, part of me is like “wow that’s loads”, the other part is like “grr 6 million days to go!” It’s going ok here, we’ve established a routine which is good and we’re starting to do more after work meaning time goes quicker. We’ve been buying toys for the children too, which has made entertaining them easier and I’m having a fair bit of fun doing colouring and play doh too!

I’ve been reading “living the cross centred life” (a baptism present from Sarah) loads this week and it has really helped me. People have always talked about “quiet time” and how it is important to have it, and people have always mentioned how they struggle with it etc , and yet I’ve always sat there thinking “it’s fine, I read my bible and pray every day”. BUT, I now realise the importance of putting it in your routine, especially at the beginning of the day. Starting the day off this week with a few psalms, a bible study question and prayer has given me much more strength to get through the days as God is already on my mind, rather than just being that secret weapon I try to summon up when I’m feeling drained. The book also reminded me that God has suffered so much more than I ever will (and I’m hardly “suffering” really at the moment, I’m just a bit low and homesick), He sacrificed His son so that I can be forgiven of the ridiculous amount of sins I have committed. And yet instead of thanking God for that, I moan to Him about how my wisdom tooth has started coming through and I’m stuck in India with no dental treatment or antibiotics for if it gets infected - I need to get over myself and pray the words of psalm 51:10 “create in me a pure heart, O Lord”.

We’ve had great encouragement from some of the children this week already. We did play doh with a 3 year old with cerebral palsy, it was great to see how she managed to mimic what I was doing even though she doesn’t have great control of her hands. Then there is a blind girl called Raji who is staying at the orphanage whilst her blind school is on half term and she is usually just told “raji sit” or “raji go away” and she lays in a room repeating those things over and over to herself all day. And yet today we had her giggling so much by tickling her every time it was the animal sounds in the song “Old Macdonald”. I also felt so happy today when 5 year old Ramea, a girl we have struggled to like, sat so nicely with me, played with me and talked to me for ages without playing up. Finally we taught two year old Keetana, who has no use of her arms and can’t walk, how to kick a ball to us today, something she found very funny. I thank God so much for all these precious moments because they encourage us to keep going.

I can’t tell you guys enough how grateful I am for your support and prayers, they mean so much to me and have been such an encouragement to me to stay here longer. I am really starting to miss England and my life there but God has given me this opportunity out here to serve Him, and “therefore I glory in Christ Jesus in my service to God” (Romans 15:17).

Lots of love,

Charlotte xxx 

Rejoice In The Lord

Wednesday 17^th October, 21:27pm

Day 12 guys, only 44 more to go! We are both absolutely exhausted despite the fact that we have only been working 4 hour days, who knew children were so tiring?! The children are absolutely adorable, I particularly love having cuddles with the 3 month old babies as they smile so much because they normally only get held to be fed. The children in foster care who come to the orphanage for informal schooling each day are so cute too; they seem to absolutely love us which is very encouraging!

Other times it can be quite hard with the children. Six year old Deena has brittle bone disease and is still in a nappy, although we suspect that this may be to avoid having to lift her in and out of her cot to take her to the toilet. Then there is five year old Ramea who has to have a tube in her stomach every morning, we aren’t entirely sure what’s wrong with her but she’s incontinent too. Both these girls live at the orphanage 24/7 and yet are never put in the schooling program (why?!) and are left in their cots with no stimulation all day. I want to help these two so badly, yet it can be so difficult  when they don’t cooperate! They play up to get our attention, can be rude and fight with each other. Then there’s the fact that me and Eloise are really in no place to teach any of the children, we don’t speak their language so it’s hard to actually teach them the English!

But whenever I’m sat there thinking “I wish I could wring your neck” (I do love children really!), I try to remind myself of Matthew 18:10 “see that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my father in heaven”. God loves the children and He loves me even though I don’t deserve it at all, so who am I to think badly of His people? I should be showing these children what love is, not disliking some of them they are just being typical children! We’ve been told that Deena stands no chance of ever being adopted because her problems are too severe, she will be in this sort of care all of her life, so I want to give her as much quality of life as I possibly can in these 8 weeks. I wish I was in the position to adopt a six year old girl, who knows, maybe in a few years!

So I have discovered that loving like Jesus is REALLY hard! But there are those beautiful moments that keep you going like when I was teaching a 2 year old to talk this afternoon. Or when Ramea and Deena listened to me and shared the colouring crayons we bought. Or when a little girl begged me to come and be her partner to test her on her spelling. Or when a 3 year old with cerebral palsy danced to Christian videos. Hearing the children laughing literally melts my heart and makes it so worth it!

We’re getting on much better in India, we’re getting out more and Eloise is quite good at directing us back if we get lost (I a really bad at directions or remembering what anything looks like) A large part of me still doesn’t want to be here, working completely for God is a lot harder than I thought it would be. And being here has made me realise that I am not good at all at living for Jesus, maybe my actions are sometimes, by my heart isn’t. Jesus tells us “first clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will be clean also” (Mat23:25), so I am so thankful that God has used this trip to make me realise that my heart isn’t as pure as I had once believed.

When I’m feeling down I try and think of psalm 30:5 “weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”. God has given me an amazing opportunity to use my deeds with the children to reflect His love, so whenever I feel like a good ol’ cry I remember to rejoice in Lord for all He has given me. I am so blessed because Jesus died to rid me of my sins, and wherever I am in the world that fact will always remain true!

Thank you all so much for your prayers,

Charlotte xxx

The Orphanage

Wednesday 10^th October, 8.45pm 

Hello!

Thank you so much for your support everyone, you have no idea how encouraging that is to keep going! So today was our second day at the orphanage, as you may have guessed from our Facebooks we were appalled when we saw the conditions that 11 of the children are kept in. They are pretty much kept in cots that look like prisons all day with nothing to stimulate them, no toys and only rare human interaction. They rock backwards and forwards a lot, often bang their heads against the cot/walls and one always huts himself in the head with his own hand. I’d love to say that that’s just some examples of typical childhood phases, but I think we all know that it’s a form of frustrated madness from the lack of stimulation. The children are all in nappies (even the five year olds, although maybe they don’t have bladder control) and are often left with them wet and soiled for hours because there is not enough funding to change them regularly. The orphanage is filthy, it smells of wee and sour milk, as to the clothes which are dirt and poo-stained. I praise the two ladies that work in this part of the orphanage as they work there full time and probably aren’t paid much (if at all), but it scares me that one said to me “the night nurses sing and read stories, you don’t need to cuddle the children at all or they will not sit in their cots”. There is a room with a mirror in where a 3 month baby is often left lying alone; I was told “he likes to be on his own”. We disagree; he smiles a lot when you cuddle him. These rooms are so bare, there is nothing for the children to even look at whilst in the cots, and the women didn’t even want us to hang mobiles up above the cots.

I feel I am passing judgement here, and that is wrong, who am I to judge others when I am just as bad as them? The orphanage is amazing for the work it is doing, the rest of the children are being fostered before adopted and come in for a small school session in the morning. But it’s like there’s this hopeless nursery full of babies, toddlers and disabled 5 year olds who have just fallen through the net. I have no doubt that the babies will be adopted, but the process can take up to two years and that is a long time to know not much but a cot. We live in a very broken world and the rich/poor divide between western and non-western countries is evidence of that.

Ephesians 6:11 says “put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” and this is what we’re doing. Yesterday I went out and bought packs of crayons and paper, and drew some animal outlines with the words on bubble writing for the three older ones to colour. And then tomorrow we’re taking my laptop with the DVD “Tangled”, have coloured pictures to blu-tack to the walls, and Eloise has drawn them the outline of T-shirts for them to colour for a competition.

I’ll admit it, the sinful side of me desperately wants to jump on a plane and get away from this place, forget what I have seen and never come back. But I know that’s not the right thing for me to do, so I am going to stick it out a bit longer for Mark 9:37 says “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me”. I’m hoping to get some supplies sent over (the cost of which I’ll cover) whilst I am over here, for they are desperately needed to make a lasting impact. Plastic toys and cuddly toys especially, these children need to be occupied, not internalising into their minds.

I thank God for bringing me here despite the fact that I am quite miserable and have a small temptation to deliberately get bitten by a rabid dog so that I have an excuse to fly home 7 and a half weeks early. I still have some fight left in me, God has given me work to do and I need to learn to love it, for these are Jesus’ babies, and He loves them just as much as He loves you and me. I don’t know where it’s from, but I’ll end on this bible quote “Stand firm, let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.”

Love and hugs,

Charlotte xxxx

In God We Trust

Monday 8^th October, 8.55pm

In God We Trust

Namaste!

So here we are in India and it has been an “experience” already. We really haven’t been coping these past through days, I think we’ve both cried enough tears to fill the bucket we’re supposed to wash with… But we really felt your prayers from this afternoon onwards as something clicked in both of us and we began to see that India isn’t a complete dump, there is the beauty of God’s creation here too. We have felt a spark of hope for this trip rise up within us and I now feel more confident that I can last a few weeks rather than a few days. I just hope we don’t let God or any of you down if we hit rock bottom again and do come back as you’ve all been so generous with your support.

Life in India is rather less glamorous and colourful than a lot of films portray it as (Marigold Hotel, Slumdog Millionaire), Bangalore is much less Westernised then the internet told me and culture shock hit us a lot more than we stubbornly thought it would. There is rubbish everywhere lining the streets, the people drive like maniacs and there are not many footpaths (that aren’t crumbling away) so each walk is a near death experience. There are so many people lining the streets and they stare which we found so daunting and intimidating. There’s so many stray dogs that howl at night and sleep on the streets by day, we’re convinced each one has rabies so are avoiding them like the plague! We were told that we’d be able to get a dongle in India very easily but we can’t so I don’t like not having the safety blanket of instant internet to contact home. And having to use anti-bacterial hand wash and insect repellent constantly is starting to make us shed skin like snakes…

BUT, it gets better! We’ve got out of the “going home mindset” and are starting to see the positive. The food is fine, which is what I’m most worried about, I’ve eaten every meal so far and am quite enjoying it! There are cows everywhere and I love seeing the way that the traffic stops for them but any human in the road is just a walking target to an oncoming vehicle. Our host family (we’re calling them “aunty” and “uncle” as these are Indian terms of endearment) are absolutely lovely and have been so kind to us. We have electricity, a nice room, an en-suite bathroom, a working shower and a (pink) bucket to fill with water to wash with – I highly recommend you all go out and treat yourselves to a bucket, they’re actually amazing to use, I will be buying one in England!!! It is so cheap here, you can get an auto rickshaw (Google this) to somewhere half an hour away for about 85p. Plus it’s rather useful just carrying notes, whereas in England you always end up weighed down with change. So India isn’t all bad, and you get back what you give, if you’re friendly to them then they’re lovely back (a tip goes a long way!)

So yeah, the first few days have been tough but psalm 46:10 has really helped for it says “be still and know that I am God” and Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him”. These 3 days alone have humbled me so much, I was proud to come here and do charity work for God – and it isn’t right to be proud. Feeling severely depressed had stripped me completely of that pride, it is not me doing any of this, it’s all God .  The other thing I have realised is how lucky we have it in England. I’ve said this before, how easy we had it, but, my heart hasn’t seen it until now. I pray that I will never forget the blessings God has given me in England.

We start in the orphanage tomorrow so lets get this trip rolling! Thank you all so much for the prayers and support, it has really touched us, even from a gazillion miles away! We just have to remind ourselves when it is tough that “the same Lord is Lord of all” (Rom10:12) so God created India just as much as He did England. And as the American dollar on our wall says, “In God We Trust”.

Love,

Charlotte xxxx

In Christ alone

Since everyone else is doing it, I thought I'd get on this "blog thing" ready for going to India! So watch out Slater, you're going down! 

Things are a bit tough at home at the moment, with 2 days to go before we leave, me and my mum aren't really seeing eye-to-eye as she isn't a Christian so understandably is very hurt that God is my number one now rather than her. She's attacked me a lot for my faith over the past few days, as has one of her best friends (rather publicly on Facebook), something I have found very upsetting. They find it hard to understand that the reason I know I will be ok in India is that I have God, and He will be with me at all times. For "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength" (Phil 4:13) 

But at the same time as all of this going on at home, I have received so much encouragement elsewhere. Me and Eloise received a round of applause at church on Sunday, as well as everyone praying for us and many words of advice and encouragement after the service. And then the Ten24 girls surprised us yesterday with beautiful messages they had written for us to take with us and also spent a long time praying for us, which was so lovely. I was so touched by all this support and thank God so much for my amazing church family! 

Whilst we were at Helen's, the song "In Christ alone" by Keith and Kristyn Getty was played  and the lyrics have really hit home with me, here's the first verse:

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

I understand why my mum is worried, why she thinks I've joined a cult and why she's angry, but "In Christ alone my hope is found" and I know that "through all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Rom 8:28) So I will be ok in India, my faith will stand strong, I will keep loving my mum, and I will keep going as a child of God

I wanted to share this because I know that I am not the only one who will be mocked for their faith by someone they love, and I hope to encourage others who experience this to realise that God will get us through. For as Anna Slater reminded me this morning, "we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed" (2cor 4:8)

Love,

Charlotte xxx